I am so sick of reading blog posts on work/life balance that takes an extreme definition of the phrase, then attempts to disprove it as a concept.

Every person works differently. Each person will have a different “balance” or lack there of. It’s a personal journey that one must take in order to figure out what works best for them, their families or significant others, and for the goals they want to achieve with their work.

I appreciate reading how people have figured out their specific balance. It’s helpful to have a variety of experiences to pull from. It’s almost more helpful to understand how someone figured out that the particular balance worked for them. What else did they try? Why didn’t it work? How do they keep on track now?

But this information should be presented as an individual experience. One data point in a sea of different perspectives. Any one person who says they figured it out for anyone other than themself is doing more harm than good.

I learned through a tough period that I need a distinct separation of work time and home time. This doesn’t work for everyone. Some people love answering email at home so that they can do the focused work in the office. I, however, know that if I let myself check my work email at home, I will get sucked into responding, checking files, and doing design work and not surface for hours.

My husband and I moved to NYC so I could attend grad school for my MFA. I felt like I had to put a lot of time into my school work to make sure it was worth the move, the money, the cramped quarters, and that manifested in missed dinners, not spending time in the city, and a lot of late nights in the studio.

Luckily, my husband and I were able to discuss and work through the lack of connection during this time. I was able to course-correct, and began the long journey of learning to set boundaries.

Lack of work/life balance is sometimes chosen, but sometimes it’s due to not knowing how to set the boundaries that you want. Maybe you don’t want boundaries; then you’re all set! That’s totally ok! But if you do want to set boundaries, it’s a prime spot to try it out and learn how.